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How to Win Friends and Influence People

by Dale Carnegie

Dale Carnegie wrote this book in 1937. The publisher originally only printed 5,000 copies. It was an immediate best seller and went on to sell over 30 million copies. I’ve always had a very strong allergy to the idea of “networking” and trying to “win friends” and/or “influence people” so this one never quite resonated but I loved it. It’s packed with Big Ideas on how to Optimize our relationships and, perhaps in the process, win some more friends and influence some people as better humans and leaders. We explore: The #1 indispensable quality you need for Optimizing, Principle #1 of How to Win Friends (Never criticize!!), how to make a great first impression, the Golden Rule (you living it), what to do when you make a mistake, and what to think when you meet people today!

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Braving the Wilderness

The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone

by Brené Brown

Brené Brown is one of the world’s most beloved teachers. We’ve covered two of her other #1 NY Times bestselling books: Daring Greatly and The Gifts of Imperfection. This book is all about helping us navigate our quests for true belonging—that sense of connection to yourself and to others that’s authentic, vulnerable, and courageous. First step: We need to know that it requires a trip into the hero’s forest of the unknown. Which demands “braving the wilderness.” Big Ideas we explore include deepening our understanding of that quest to true belonging, embracing paradox, the 4 practices of true belonging, how to deal with life’s challenges, and writing yourself a permission slip to be YOU.

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connection courage Female Author Vulnerability

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The Art of Connection

7 Relationship-Building Skills Every Leader Needs Now

by Michael Gelb

Michael Gelb is one of the world’s leading creativity teachers. He’s also a qi gong and aikido master who wrote one of my favorite books: “How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci.” In this book, he teaches us the art of creating connection. Big Ideas we explore include how to optimize our ability to connect (practice with the little moments!), The Pygmalion Effect (aka the self-fulfilling prophecy), the importance of centering for conflict resolution, and how our addiction to digital devices (ADD) is leading to attention deficit disorder (ADD) which is leading to troubles in connecting and what to do about it.

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Rethinking Narcissism

The Secret to Recognizing and Coping with Narcissists

by Dr. Craig Malkin

Dr. Craig Malkin is an author, clinical psychologist, and Instructor of Psychology for Harvard Medical School. He’s also one of the world’s leading authorities on the science of narcissism. In this book, he shares “The bad—and surprising good—about feeling special.” The short story? Narcissism is a lot more nuanced than we might have been led to believe. Big Ideas we explore: the Myth of Narcissus, the Spectrum of Narcissism, healthy narcissism (no, that isn’t an oxymoron), how to bring it forth in our lives, and the passionate life (passion + compassion = magic!).

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Pursuing the Good Life

100 Reflections on Positive Psychology

by Christopher Peterson

Christopher Peterson was an award-winning professor at the University of Michigan. He was also one of the founders of the positive psychology movement. He worked closely with Martin Seligman to create one of my favorite surveys: the VIA (Virtues-in-Action) Survey of Character Strengths. This book is essentially a collection of 100 blog posts Chris created for his popular blog on Psychology Today. Big Ideas we explore include: good hope and bad hope, how to truly matter, how to avoid a sub-optimal epitaph and the keys to flourishing relationships.

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The Way to Love

The Last Meditations of Anthony de Mello

by Anthony de Mello

This is a tiny little pocket book featuring thirty-one inspiring, challenging meditations on how to love by Anthony de Mello, a mystical Jesuit priest who also wrote the great book Awareness that we cover. The book is a powerful, challenging look at how to break free from our conditioning, reprogram our minds and truly love. Big Ideas we explore include what it means to love, enjoying the symphony of life (by no longer clinging or renouncing), the art of looking (How are you THAT?), how to create freedom to make a fool of yourself, plus effort, effortlessness and fun.

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The Charisma Myth

How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism

by Olivia Fox Cabane

Charisma. The idea that you’re either one of the lucky few born with it or not is a MYTH. Fact is: We can all cultivate our personal magnetism. In this fun, quick-reading, compelling book, Olivia Fox Cabane walks us through the practical application of the art and science of deliberately dialing our charisma up. Big Ideas we cover: The Big 3 of charisma: Presence + Power + Warmth (and how to boost each), what gets in the way (and what to do about it), the power of visualization (#1 tip) and more.

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The Seventh Sense

Power, Fortune, and Survival in the Age of Networks

by Joshua Cooper Ramo

This book is very different than the types of books I usually focus on. It’s not “self-development” per se; it’s more like “state-development”—as in, the optimal politics for our nation and world. The main thrust of the book is that we are entering a revolutionary time, the era of “Great Connection.” His primary focus is on a macro level. In our Note we focus on how we can apply this wisdom on an individual level. Big Ideas include a look at the #1 illness of our era and how to deal with it, why we need Hard Gatekeeping, the difference btwn complicated and complex and building a 10,000 year clock while answering the call to revolution.

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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert

by John M. Gottman, Nan Silver

Want to make your relationship work? Then you’d be wise to turn toward the world’s leading researcher on the science of what makes love work: John Gottman. This book has sold over 1 million copies and it’s easy to see why. Big Ideas we explore: How Gottman can predict divorce with 91% accuracy (in < 15 minutes), a quick look at the 7 principles, the power of cherishing your partner, turning toward (and not being a tech rat), how to solve the solvable problems and starting “I love you” with the “I.”

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An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth

What Going to Space Taught Me About Ingenuity, Determination, and Being Prepared for Anything

by Chris Hadfield

Chris Hadfield is the super cool guitar-strumming Canadian astronaut who served as Commander of the International Space Station. This is his guide to life on Earth. It’s awesome. Big Ideas we explore include the power of negative thinking, why we need to sweat the small stuff, creating deep love time blocks and finishing strong.

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Are You Fully Charged?

The 3 Keys to Energizing Your Work and Life

by Tom Rath

Are you fully charged? Tom Rath tells us it’s all about what we do DAILY and that if we want to improve the quality of our lives (and sense of aliveness!), we need to focus on optimizing three key conditions: Meaning + Interactions + Energy. Big Ideas we explore include the meaning equation, doubling down on your talents, embracing the 500 million moments of our lives, and The iPhone Effect.

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The Heart and the Fist

The Education of a Humanitarian, the Making of a Navy SEAL

by Eric Greitens

Eric Greitens is pretty much a superhero. Part humanitarian and part warrior, he's an integrated man committed to serving profoundly. In this book, he shows us how to combine strength and compassion, find our purpose through service and cultivate practical wisdom. Note: We’re keeping our Notes on Eric’s books up on the site as a powerful reminder of a) how hard it is to truly live these ideas and b) how important it is to trust OURSELVES as our ultimate advisors.

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Nonviolent Communication

A Language of Life

by Marshall B. Rosenberg

Nonviolent Communication has sold over 1,000,000 copies. Why? It works. There are four key components to NVC: Observations + Feelings + Needs + Requests. In this Note, we'll take a quick look at each of them along with some other Big Ideas to communicate more compassionately.

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Play

How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul

by Stuart Brown

Play! Stuart Brown, one of the world's leading play researchers, tells us that it's more important than you may think. We'll take a quick look at why it's so important, why you don't want to be a sea squirt and how to make your life one big sand box while infusing more joy into your life.

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Introvert Power

Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength

by Laurie Helgoe, Ph.D.

Introverts unite!! Did you know that the majority (!) of Americans are actually introverted? Yep. But... Our society overly values the extroverted/social side of things and doesn't teach us how to cultivate the internal goodness. Fear not, Dr. Helgoe is here to help us learn how to be psychologically patriotic as we build solitude skills and tap into our introvert power.

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The Way of the Bodhisattva

by Shantideva

The Way of the Bodhisattva is one of the classics of Buddhism that teaches us the key elements of the Bodhisattva—one who has dedicated his or her life to serving the world and releasing all sentient beings from suffering. In this Note, we’ll check out the importance of cultivating bodhichitta (an “awakened mind”) and how we can do it. (Hint: It’s all about “diligence in virtuous ways”! :)

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Why Meditate?

Working with Thoughts and Emotions

by Matthieu Ricard

Why Meditate? According to Ricard, the ultimate reason is to transform ourselves so we can transform our world. That works for me! In this Note, we check out my favorite Big Ideas on working out our mindfulness muscles, looking at the power of neuroplasticity and highlighting the fact that it’s *all* about the consistent practice, working on our consciousness thought after thought and emotion by emotion.

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The Art of Loving

by Erich Fromm

Erich Fromm, a leading 20th century psychologist, tells us that love is an art--and that if we want to master love then we need to study it like we would any other art we want to master. In this Note, we’ll explore some Big Ideas on how to rock both the theory and the practice of love. Big Ideas include moving from “falling in” love to “STANDING in” love plus the need to get rid of the illusions of a perfect relationship. If you’re looking for more love in your life, you’ll dig it.

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Me to We

by Marc Kielburger, Craig Kielburger

Craig and Marc Kielburger are simply extraordinary human beings who, from a remarkably young age, dedicated their lives to making a huge difference in the world. This book is a manifesto on how to go from Me to We as we commit to living for something bigger than ourselves. In the Note, we explore Big Ideas ranging from classic Greek ideas about happiness to closing the gap between principle and practice. Super inspiring and transformative.

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Conquest of Mind

by Eknath Easwaran

The Conquest of Mind is an amazing book written by an equally amazing man: Eknath Easwaran. We use Easwaran’s translations for the Bhagavad Gita and The Dhammapada and in this book he provides all kinds of great ideas on how we can win “the war within.” In the Note we’ll explore the fact that we don’t want to be heroes in the beginning and then sneak out the back door, the fact that we can ALL change, and the miracles that can be created by hard work.

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