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Happy Together

Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love That Lasts

by Suzann Pileggi Pawelski, MAPP, James O. Pawelski Ph.D.

Suzie and James Pawelski are two of the world's leading positive psychologists. James cofounded the Master of Applied Positive Psychology program at the University of Pennsylvania with Martin Seligman while Suzie is a graduate of the program and a leading freelance writer and consultant. Together they've written an incredible book on "Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love That Lasts." I’ve been waiting for a very long time for the book that would make me say: “READ THIS BOOK if you want to figure out how to integrate Ancient Wisdom + Modern Science + Practical Tools to Optimize your relationship.” And, well, THIS book is it. I HIGHLY recommend it. In fact, it's not only my #1 Love book recommendation, it's also cracked the Top 10 all-time greatest list. Big Ideas we explore include The Relationship Gym (hit it!), Aristotelian Lovers (the REAL Soul Mates), SNAP (James geniuses x2), Know Thy... (self and thy partner!), and Love Is an Action Verb (let's commit to flourishing together TODAY!).

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Love & Positive Psychology

Best of Optimize Love positive-psychology Virtue

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It Takes What It Takes

How to Think Neutrally and Gain Control of Your Life

by Trevor Moawad

Trevor Moawad is a mental conditioning coach to elite performers. He is well known for being the mental coach to Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson and has worked closely with prestigious NCAA football programs and coaches, the US Special Operations community, Major League Baseball, and the NBA. This book is, as per the sub-title, all about “How to Think Neutrally and Gain Control of Your Life.” I loved it and, if you’re also equally fired up by the mental toughness in sports and life genre, I think you’ll enjoy it as much as I did. Big Ideas we explore include neutral thinking (much better than positive or negative), goats and G.O.A.T.s, the law of substitution (focus!), the illusion of choice (if you’re REALLY ALL IN, there is no choice), and drawing a line in the dirt (and getting to it… again and again and again!).

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Antifragility & Peak Performance

Best of Optimize Mental Toughness Peak Performance Sports

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Future Visions

The Unpublished Papers of Abraham Maslow

by Dr. Edward Hoffman

As you know if you’ve been following along, I love Abraham Maslow and feel a deep kinship to him and his work. We have featured two of the books he published during his lifetime: Toward a Psychology of Being and Motivation and Personality. Although this book has only ONE review on Amazon and I could only buy a used copy of it, I knew I’d love it. And, although I had already been deeply influenced by Maslow and his thinking, there was something about reading his unpublished essays and journal thoughts that made me feel that much more connected to this great man. Big Ideas we explore include Maslow’s thoughts on the “eupsychian ideal” (aka: the “eudaemonic ideal”!), the psychology of happiness (eudaimonology!!), Stoic philosophy (Maslow was a fan), vicious cultural influences (Maslow was NOT a fan!), and the Jonah Complex (ANSWER YOUR HEROIC CALL, already!!).

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Positive Psychology & Purpose

Best of Optimize positive-psychology

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Food Fix

How to Save Our Health, Our Economy, Our Communities, and Our Planet--One Bite at a Time

by Mark Hyman

Mark Hyman, MD, is head of strategy for the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine and board president for the Institute for Functional Medicine. He is also the bestselling author of a number of books, including Eat Fat, Get Thin. This is a very important and equally sobering book. As Mark says: "If we were to identify one big lever to pull to improve global health, create economic abundance, reduce social injustice and mental illness, restore environmental health, and reverse climate change, it would be transforming our entire food system. That is the most important work of our time—work that must begin now.” In the Note we take a quick look at the dysfunction of the food system and how to fix it while talking about the #1 thing YOU can do TODAY to address it. We also chat about the fact that your food label may be lying to you, the ENORMOUS amount of money the junk food industry spends on junk science (think: $12 BILLION) and the social justice issues of food.

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Nutrition & Optimal Weight

Best of Optimize food Metabolism Nutrition Social Justice

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The Power of Your Breath

The Secret Key to Reshaping Your Looks, Body, Health and Weight

by Anders Olsson

Anders Olsson is one of the world’s leading teachers on the science of optimal breathing. This book is packed (!) with Big Ideas and practical tips on how to Optimize our most fundamental fundie. In this Note, we explore the 5 principles of Conscious Breathing, how to Optimize your breathing posture, some tips on sleep and living your hero's journey one breath at a time.

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Breathing

Best of Optimize Breathing Energy

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Breath

The New Science of a Lost Art

by James Nestor

Breath. It’s the missing pillar in health. We’ve been talking about this for years and we’ve included breathing among our fundamentals since I first read Patrick McKeown’s The Oxygen Advantage. And, I just LOVE the way James captures the importance of breathing in this book. The first words on the inside flap of the book deliver the point with a sledgehammer: “No matter what you eat, how much you exercise, how skinny or young or strong you are, none of it matters if you’re not breathing properly.” Big Ideas we explore include how to breathe optimally and why it's so important, the #1 tip, oral posture (how's yours?) and the perfect breath (think 5.5 + 5.5 for 5.5!).

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Breathing & Energy & Energy

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The Upward Spiral

Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time

by Alex Korb, PhD

Alex Korb is a neuroscientist in the department of psychiatry at the University of California, Los Angeles. (Go Bruins!) He’s also a great writer. As per the sub-title, the book is all about “Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time.” It’s REALLY good. Inspiring. Scientifically grounded. Simple. Practical. <- A winning formula for a great book! Big Ideas we explore include the power of exercising your brain (which is the #1 tip, btw), setting goals (and making decisions), developing positive habits (via repetition, repetition, repetition), biofeedback (and how to take advantage of it), and the power of others (rely on it!).

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Conquering Depression & Positive Psychology

antifragility Best of Optimize depression neuroscience positive-psychology

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Tiny Habits

The Small Changes That Change Everything

by B. J. Fogg

BJ Fogg founded the Behavior Design Lab at Stanford University. He is one of the world’s leading authorities on the science of behavior change. In this book, he introduces us to the core elements of his Fogg Behavior Model as we learn that habit change doesn’t need to be as hard as we make it. As BJ tells us: “We are not the problem. Our approach to change is. It’s a design flaw—not a personal flaw.” Big Ideas we explore include the three elements that drive behavior (B = MAP!), the ABCs of Tiny Habits (Anchor + (Tiny) Behavior + Celebration!), the power of anchor prompts (After I (ANCHOR), I will (NEW HABIT), and the power of celebration (get your Shine on!).

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Algorithms & Habits

algorithms Best of Optimize Celebrate Habits willpower

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What Doesn't Kill Us

The New Psychology of Posttraumatic Growth

by Stephen Joseph Ph.D.

Stephen Joseph is one of the world’s leading researchers on the science of posttraumatic growth. He is also a professor and therapist. He started his career studying posttraumatic stress. In the process, he saw that many people experienced significant growth as a result of the stress they endured--at which point, he started developing his ideas on posttraumatic growth. Fast-forward a few decades and here we are. the title is a play on Nietzsche’s famous dictum: “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.” While the sub-title perfectly captures the focus of the book: “The New Psychology of Posttraumatic Growth.” Big Ideas we explore include: Eudaimonic Treadmills (note: there aren't any!), posttraumatic growth (and how to use stress as the engine for growth), the shattered vase (taking the pieces and making an antifragile mosaic), harvesting hope (the 1 + 2 + 3s for trauma survivors).

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Antifragility & Positive Psychology

Best of Optimize positive-psychology

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The Courage Quotient

How Science Can Make You Braver

by Robert Biswas-Diener

Robert Biswas-Diener is known as the “Indiana Jones of positive psychology.” As per his bio, “his research has taken him to such far-flung places as Greenland, India, Kenya and Israel.” And, important note: “He is afraid of quicksand and snakes.” :) Robert is also the son of one of the leading positive psychology researchers: Ed Diener. We covered a book they wrote together called Happiness. This is basically the ONLY book on science of courage. It's fantastic. Big Ideas we explore include defining the numerator and denominator of our Courage Quotient (hint: Increase your "willingness to act" and "ability to control fear"), courage's two flavors (general + personal), courage blindness (and how to heal it), the power of playing our roles well (choose a courageous one!), being willing to fail and playing to win.

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Conquering Fear & Positive Psychology

Best of Optimize positive-psychology

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Character Strengths Matter

How to Live a Full Life (Positive Psychology News)

by Shannon M. Polly, MAPP, ACC, Kathryn Britton, MAPP

This is a great introduction to the science of why character strengths matter along with some practical tools on how to go about using those strengths in service to our families and communities so we can experience a deeper sense of joyful flourishing. In this book, Shannon Polly and Kathryn Britton walk us through each of the 24 character strengths identified by the VIA Institute on Character that was created by Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson. In our Note, we take a quick look at all 24 virtues and explore some practical ways to apply them to our lives TODAY.

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Positive Psychology

Best of Optimize Female Author positive-psychology

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Falling Upward

A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life

by Richard Rohr, OFM

Alexandra got this book for me after I told her how much I loved David Brooks’ The Second Mountain. Apparently it is recommended alongside that book on Amazon. With 1,400+ reviews, Alexandra thought I might like it. Not only did I like the book, I loved it. And, I fell in love with Richard Rohr. Father Rohr is a Franciscan priest who beautifully integrates his faith with wisdom from various perspectives. Big Ideas we explore include our main Job in life (remembering that we're light bulbs and staying screwed in!), life's two major tasks, the fact that the way UP is DOWN (hence, the title of the book: Falling Upward), the hero and the heroine and their journeys, the paradox of the ego ("You ironically need a very strong ego structure to let go of your ego"), and how to become a Serene Disciple (let God drive).

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Purpose

Best of Optimize

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The Second Mountain

The Quest for a Moral Life

by David Brooks

David Brooks is one of the nations’ leading writers and commentators. He is an op-ed columnist for the New York Times and appears regularly on PBS NewsHour and Meet the Press. I loved his book The Road to Character. I loved this one even more. David tells us there are two mountains: The first mountain? That’s what society tells us we should pursue: all the normal trappings of success. The second mountain? That’s where the magic (and joy!) exists: where we move beyond ourselves and COMMIT (important word for this book!) to giving ourselves most fully to something bigger than ourselves. David identifies four potential commitments: to our families, to our vocations, to our faith/philosophy of life and to our communities. Ultimately, the book is intended to be a guide to the ULTIMATE quest in life: “The Quest for a Moral Life.”

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Love & Purpose

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Gratitude Works!

A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity

by Robert A. Emmons

I’m grateful for Robert Emmons. He’s dedicated the last three decades of his life to understanding the science of how to boost our well-being. In the process, he’s conducted ground-breaking research on the power of gratitude. In fact, he’s basically THE researcher we have to thank for understanding *just* how powerful gratitude journaling is. (He's also served as editor-in-chief of The Journal of Positive Psychology.) I consider myself a reasonably grateful guy but this book has opened my eyes to JUST how powerful gratitude is. And, to just how important it is to DELIBERATELY PRACTICE it. Big Ideas we explore include: How to give yourself a 25% (!!!) boost in happiness, the top gratitude practices, the #1 obstacle to gratitude (and its remedy), and using challenges for grateful fuel!

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Positive Psychology

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The Joy of Movement

How exercise helps us find happiness, hope, connection, and courage

by Kelly McGonigal

I’m a big fan of Kelly McGonigal and her ability to help us apply scientific wisdom to our lives. We’ve covered two of her earlier books: The Willpower Instinct and The Upside of Stress. So... When I got this book, knew I’d enjoy it. But, I didn’t anticipate JUST how much I’d love it. We have some great Notes on Movement (Spark, Spartan Up and No Sweat among my favorites), but Kelly’s book will be our new go-to for the science of WHY exercise/movement is so essential to our well-being. It’s PHENOMENAL. Reading about the SCIENCE behind stories of transformation (and how, as per the sub-title of her book: “Exercise Helps Us Find Happiness, Hope, Connection, and Courage”) also made me that much more clear on the power of what we’re doing with all of our work and the importance of focusing so much on Energy (especially with our Mastery and Coach programs). Big Ideas we explore include: Hope Molecules (and how to create them), persistence highs (and how to create them), collective effervescence (and why it's so awesome), how we endure (hint: TOGETHER!), and OMMS!!! (Obstacles (literally!) Make Me Stronger!).

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Energy & Energy & Movement

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Musonius Rufus

Lectures and Sayings

by Musonius Rufus, Cynthia Arrieu-King, William B. Irvine

Musonius Rufus was one of the four great Roman Stoics. In fact, he was known as the “Roman Socrates.” To put him in historical context with the other three great Roman Stoics: He was born in AD 30, about 34 years after Seneca. He taught Epictetus (who was born in AD 55). Epictetus died in 135 but taught the guys who taught the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius (who was born in AD 121) his Stoic philosophy—which is why Aurelius refers to him more than any other teacher in Meditations. Big Ideas we explore include: Theory vs. Practice (which is more important?), practicing philosophy (is where it's at!), vice vs. exile (free yourself from vice!), food (it's the medicine of life), and stoic love advice (competing in kindness).

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Stoicism

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Indistractable

How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life

by Nir Eyal

Nir Eyal is a former lecturer at Stanford’s Graduate School of Business. His first book was an international bestseller that’s influenced the product development of pretty much all of the leading tech companies on the planet. It was called Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products. We have Nir to thank for helping make the technology we use better. And... As he says, “But there’s also a dark side. As philosopher Paul Virilio wrote, ‘When you invent the ship, you also invent the shipwreck.’ In the case of user-friendly products and services, what makes some products engaging and easy to use can also make them distracting.” After finding HIMSELF hooked to many of the products created by designers inspired by *his* work, Eyal got himself UNHOOKED and, ultimately INDISTRACTABLE. In this great book, he gives us a practical look at *why* we’re so vulnerable to getting hooked in the first place and, most importantly, how to make ourselves Indistractable so we can control our attention and choose our lives.

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Conquering Digital Addiction & Productivity

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Stillness Is the Key

by Ryan Holiday

This is our fourth Note on one of Ryan Holiday’s books. Ryan is one of my absolute favorite writers. One of the testimonials in the front of the book perfectly captures my sentiment. Screenwriter and director Brian Koppelman (Rounders, Ocean’s Thirteen and Billions) puts it this way: “I don’t have many rules in life, but one I never break is: If Ryan Holiday writes a book, I read it as soon as I can get my hands on it.” (btw: Cal Newport’s the first testimonial. He says: “Some authors give advice. Ryan Holiday distills wisdom. This book is a must read.”) Penguin Random House sent me an advance copy of this book. As I knew it would be: It’s fantastic. Of course, the book’s packed with Big Ideas and I’m excited to share some of my favorites so let’s jump straight in!

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Confidence & Stoicism

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Everything Is Figureoutable

by Marie Forleo

My wife Alexandra has been a huge fan of Marie’s for a long time. I knew she was awesome. But... As I told Alexandra: “I had no idea Marie was THAT awesome!!!” My excuse: I’ve been in hermit-mode and have done nothing but read books for 5 years (no blogs/videos/etc.) so I wasn’t able to get the full sense of Marie’s heroically brilliant and grounded and HILARIOUS power until this book came out. I’ve read and created PhilosophersNotes on well over 500 books. This is one of my ABSOLUTE (!) favorites of all time. I HIGHLY (!!!) recommend it. It’s in the same league as some of my other favorites like Deep Work Atomic Habits and The 5 Second Rule. (In fact, on my chalkboard right now, I actually have “EVERYTHING IS FIGUREOUTABLE” right above “5-4-3-2-1-GO!” <- Winning combo!) The book is PACKED (!) with Big Ideas and I’m excited to share a few of my favorites so let’s jump straight in!

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Confidence & Leadership

Agency Best of Optimize emotional-stamina Mindset optimism

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Gandhi the Man

How One Man Changed Himself to Change the World

by Eknath Easwaran

Eknath Easwaran is one of my absolute favorite teachers. In this beautiful and brilliant biography we get his insights into the transformation of Gandhi the man into the Mahatma or "great soul." As per the sub-title of the book, we learn “How one man changed himself to change the world.” Big Ideas we explore include why/how it all starts with being the change, the power of satyagraha (= soul-force!), making history (by ignoring historians), Gandhi and sugar (and fuel for his soul engine), the call to action (to be moral warriors), and "my life is my message" (what's yours?).

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Leadership & Meditation

Best of Optimize Biography leadership Spirituality

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