Coming Alive

4 Tools to Defeat Your Inner Enemy, Ignite Creative Expression & Unleash Your Soul’s Potential
by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels | Spiegel & Grau © 2017 · 320 pages

I’m a HUGE fan of Phil and Barry's first book, The Tools. Coming Alive is kinda like The Tools Part 2. In this book, we get four new tools to go along with the original five tools. Big Ideas we explore include how to connect to our Life Force, defeat Part X (their name for that part of each of us that gets in the way), build our confidence and learn to see problems as gifts as we live a GREAT life.


The more persistently you fight Part X, the more you feel the bracing wind of life’s limitless potential. Your problems no longer stop you—they energize you to work even harder for your aspirations.
Barry Michels & Phil Stutz

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“Most people suspect they could live a completely different life from the one they’re living now. In this other life their days are joyful. They’re more confident, they take more risks, the things they do feel more meaningful. It’s as if—in this alternate existence—they’ve plugged into a different kind of energy, an energy that makes anything seem possible.

What they suspect is true. This energy is real and it has the power to change lives. We call it the Life Force. It’s the great prize of the universe—immortal, unstoppable, endlessly creative. …

Think of this book as a can opener for your soul. It will give you the tools you need to access the Life Force and defeat your inner enemy. Only then will you discover what you’re truly capable of and come alive in a way you never have before.”

~ Barry Michels & Phil Stutz from Coming Alive

If you follow me and my work at all, you almost certainly know that I’m a HUGE fan of The Tools—the first book by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels. It’s at least tied for first for my favorite book ever.

After reading the book and sending to it to our team and friends, I interviewed Phil and Barry. Once. Twice. Three times. Falling even more in love with the ideas and with them.

I knew I wanted to work 1-on-1 with them. But which one?! Phil or Barry?! It was like picking between Yoda and Obi Wan Kenobi. Tough choice. (Hah!) But, you pretty much have to go with Yoda in that scenario, right? :)

So, I started working 1-on-1 with Phil. Words can’t quite put into perspective how deeply meaningful that has been for me. In addition to getting wisdom that has changed my life (and filled up an inch-high stack of notes), I also got a new Honorary Father.

In one of our sessions Phil said, “You must have been a son in my prior life.” I said, “Well, why don’t we make it official in this one?” He said, “Good idea.”

All that to say that I’m *deeply* aligned with their work and I was eagerly awaiting the new book.

Coming Alive is kinda like The Tools Part 2. It’s a next-level immersion into a new set of 4 tools to deal with that part of us that’s constantly getting in the way of us living at our heroic best.

They call that “Part X” and the book is all about helping us defeat that inner enemy so we can “ignite creative expression and unleash your soul’s potential.”

If that sounds like a good time, then I think you’ll love the book. (Get a copy here.)

For now, I’m excited to share a few of my favorite Big Ideas so let’s jump straight in!

The Life Force & Part X

“The Life Force is the opposite of Part X. If X is the prophet of impossibility, the Life Force is the herald of limitless potential, creating the sense that everything can change right now, in the present. It knows, better than you do, what you’re capable of—and it gives you the energy to become the highest version of yourself. I’ve never met anyone who couldn’t benefit from more of it.”

The Life Force.

Ancient cultures have had different words to describe this ineffably powerful energy.

As Barry and Phil say, “The belief that an invisible animating energy underlies our existence is thousands of years old. Unlike our modern, mechanical notion of energy, which we understand via mathematics, this is a living energy that we feel inside us. In Eastern religions, this energy, or Life Force, is known variously as prana (in Indian philosophy and medicine), lung (in Tibetan Buddhism), and chi (in Chinese philosophy and medicine). In the Old Testament, it was called ruach, the breath of God, which gave mankind not only life, but the spirit to evolve.

The Life Force.

It’s the secret sauce to all that is awesome.

Helping us connect to this Life Force so that we can unleash our soul’s potential is what the book is all about.

So, what gets in the way?

Part X.

The prophet of impossibility.

That part of you that is constantly whispering (or shouting!) that everything is impossible. Not really hard or even super challenging but I M P O S S I B L E.

It’s impossible for you to achieve your big dream. It’s impossible not to give in to your impulses. It’s impossible to get over the past hurt. Etc. Etc. Etc.

IMPOSSIBLE. IMPOSSIBLE. IMPOSSIBLE.

We ALL have that voice within us. (What’s yours tell YOU?)

Part X.

Let’s defeat it.

How? By engaging in 4 new tools.

Your primary emotional responsibility is to keep yourself in a positive state, no matter what’s happening around you. ... We all have the ability to do this—to generate an enthusiastic, inspired sense of life no matter what circumstances we’re in.
Barry Michels & Phil Stutz

The Tools

“What are tools? Tools are practices, simple techniques that bridge the gap between insight and action. Using them over time enables you to fulfill your potential. You use a tool whenever you find yourself stuck; if you use it every time you’re stuck, you unlock your potential. Tools help you cross the threshold and become the person you sensed you could be.”

So, it’s one thing to conceptually understand something. That insight is wonderful. But, of course, that distinction is USELESS unless we put it into action.

When? The moment we’re facing a challenge. And the next time we face it. And the time after that. The Tools are designed to be used every.single.time we need them.

Here’s a quick look at the 5 tools from the first book and the 4 new ones from this book.

  1. The Reversal of Desire. “Bring it on!!” I’ve probably talked about this Tool more than any other Idea in all these Notes. Short story: Your infinite potential exists just on the other side of your comfort zone. Exiting your comfort zone feels, by definition, UNCOMFORTABLE. Therefore, if we want to tap into our infinite potential, we *must* get really comfy being really uncomfy. Hence, we need to reverse our desire. How? Every time we feel fear bubble up, we say to ourselves, “BRING IT ON! Pain sets me free. I love pain!”
  2. Active Love. You know those times when you’re caught in a mental loop on all the things that are annoying you about a certain person? Me, too. Phil and Barry call that being stuck in “the Maze.” How do you get out? Use the Active Love Tool. How? In short, quit ruminating all the negative stuff. Drop from your head to heart. And beam the person love.
  3. Inner Authority. You ever feel afraid in social situations? Me, too. The Tool? Bring to mind a version of you that captures the parts of you that you are most ashamed of. (For me, it’s a timid, skinny little adolescent version of me with braces.) Now, rather than try to make that version of us go away, we proudly bring him or her to the party, give them a high five and communicate with an inner sense of authority.
  4. Grateful Flow. Ever feel overwhelmed or depressed or otherwise icky? Me, too. (Common humanity!) When that cloud of not-so-awesome rolls into our lives, we want to bust through it by focusing on all that IS awesome right now. That’s Grateful Flow. It’s impossible to be simultaneously super funky and super grateful. Test it!
  5. Jeopardy. You ever waste time and forget that life is incredibly precious? Me, too. The Tool for this? Play that final Jeopardy countdown music in your head. Know that countdown is going on in your LIFE right now. Be your best self. Now.

The new 4 tools? Each deals with a different way that Part X whispers “impossible” to us.

Of course, each Tool has its own chapter in the book. Get the book to wrap your brain around the details of how to put the Tools to work. Here’s a *super* quick look.

  1. The Black Sun. You ever give in to impulses? Me, too. (Hah.) What’s your favorite kryptonite? The thing you do that you just *know* isn’t great for you. Barry walks us through a case study of a guy who lost his temper (and gambled) who was married to a woman who liked to overeat. They had a daughter who obsessively shopped and a son who played too many video games. (Covers the range well, eh? :) The Tool helps us embrace the emptiness that comes from not following every impulse—transmuting that into a sense of inner fullness that radiates out into the world. Powerful stuff.
  2. The Vortex. This Tool is to help us with a sense of lethargy. Basic idea: Your physical energy can be optimized via our fundamentals (eat move sleep!) but its still finite. In those moments of fatigue when you don’t feel like you have the energy to do what needs to get done, know that you have access to a huge storehouse of energy. Enter: The Vortex.
  3. The Mother. This Tool is to help us deal with the pain of being let down by the outside world—a sense of disillusionment and demoralization that occurs when our false hopes are shattered. We replace those false hopes that something outside of ourselves can bring us happiness with TRUE hope—the *knowing* that we have what we need within to create a life of sustainable meaning and happiness, independent of what’s going on out in the world. “An unshakable faith in your potential. That’s what the tool is for.
  4. The Tower. This Tool brings us the archetypal power of the Father. It helps us deal with the pain of feeling hurt or wronged by someone—shifting us from a place of being a victim to being a powerful creator. The key here? We want to get REALLY good at moving from “death” to “rebirth” as quickly as possible. Easier said than done. Enter: The Tower.
It’s your actions, more than your thoughts, that dictates who wins.
Barry Michels & Phil Stutz

Self-Restraint → Self-confidence

“It doesn’t seem like self-restraint would increase your confidence but it does. Think about it for a moment: what would your life be like if you gave in to every urge that came into your head? You’d be living on shaky ground, knowing your life could fall off the rails at any moment. You wouldn’t be able to rely on commitments you’ve made to yourself. It would destroy your confidence in yourself. In contrast, when you can restrain yourself, you—instead of your urges—are in the driver’s seat. You control your choices. This gives you a sense of confidence that the most important things in your life aren’t going to be sacrificed on a whim, or because an urge suddenly seizes hold of you.”

Self-restraint.

That’s the essence of our first tool: having the ability to control yourself such that you don’t follow every little impulse that arises.

Barry makes the point that having self-control is THE way to build self-confidence. They may not seem so intimately connected but they are.

Recall the etymology of confidence. It’s Latin for “intense trust.” Intense trust in what? In YOU. And in your ability to respond appropriately and powerfully to life.

How do you build that trust? In TINY (!!!) little moments of choice.

Barry and Phil are *all* about the fact that the big things come through the small things. In fact, let’s pull that thread a bit more with the next Big Idea.

Before we move on, I’m reminded of this gem from David Reynolds’ Constructive Living: “The mature human being goes about doing what needs to be done regardless of whether that person feels great or terrible. Knowing that you are the kind of person with that kind of self-control brings all the satisfaction and confidence you will ever need. Even on days when the satisfaction and confidence just aren’t there, you can get the job done anyway.

Demoralization is like a boulder beginning to roll down a steep hill. The secret is to stop it the moment it starts to roll, so you prevent it from picking up speed. By the time it’s halfway down the hill, it has so much momentum you will struggle to stop it. Get into the habit of using... the tool the moment the negative thoughts and feelings start.
Barry Michels & Phil Stutz

Small → Big

“Most people focus on the bigger, more challenging events in life, but the forces that drive the universe function on a much smaller level. We call this the world of small things—‘things’ in the sense of minor, seemingly inconsequential acts. Just the way modern physics studies matter at the level of the smallest particles, the best way to understand human behavior is at the level of the most common actions and events.

Rudolf Steiner, the great European philosopher, put it this way: the most important things enter the world through the smallest things. The commonplace is crucial because most of our time is spent doing commonplace things.”

The most important things enter through the small things.

Really? Yah. Really.

In our chats, Phil calls these “micro-transactions.” The TINY (!!!) little things that don’t *seem* to be related to the big things but they are. Everything we do affects the “Field.” We want to make those micro-transactions as impeccable as we can. (Sounds a lot like areté, eh?)

And.. We can’t expect to be able to handle the BIG challenges life throws at us unless we’ve built up the strength in the little seemingly unimportant micro-challenges.

In Think on These Things, Krishnamurti puts it this way: “To go far you must begin near, and the nearest step is the most important one.” And, in my interview with David Allen (Mr. Getting Things Done), he told me that the sublime enters via the mundane.

Want to get the big things right? Start small. Really small. Quantum physics small.

P.S. Phil and I have chatted about Rudolf Steiner a ton in our chats. Check out this Note on Steiner’s great book Knowledge of Higher Worlds and its Attainment.

A Great Life

“Timidity carries a huge price tag. You have a limited amount of time here on earth. Every moment that you aren’t ‘all in’ and fully committed is a wasted moment. The longer you live a ‘safe’ life, the more your goals, potential, and any sense that your life has meaning all fade away and eventually seem beyond reach. You’ve consigned your soul to Part X.

The only way to take it back is to identify what’s really important to you and pursue it with every last ounce of energy. There’s a risk in this: when you pursue life with this level of commitment and you get injured, it really hurts. That doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.

A great life is not one without injuries. A great life is one in which you risk great injuries and overcome them when they happen, again and again. The more willing you are to risk getting hurt, the more you’ll have the expansive, opportunity-filled life you want. If you remain small because you’re terrified of hurt, failure or rejection… you’ll live a limited, disengaged, fearful life.”

Timidity. It carries a HUGE price tag.

But, why are we timid? Because we’re afraid we don’t have the strength to deal with whatever challenges life throws at us. How do we build that strength? Well, go back to the prior Ideas. Build your self-restraint to deal with your impulses. Use every moment as an opportunity to rock those micro-transactions.

And then? Then decide what’s worthy of you in this one precious life of yours and GO ALL IN.

Phil and I were chatting about this one day. And how hard it is to do. Yet, how incredibly powerful it is when we can flip the switch. (And then flip the switch back on every time it wants to go back off!)

He called it “The Psychology of Utter Commitment.” (← Isn’t that a beautiful phrase?)

Guess what? That level of commitment invites a ton of pain. Which is why we need to reverse our desire and SEE that the pain is, paradoxically, our ticket to freedom. Then, we get to practice The Tower tool which, essentially, invites us to see those micro- (and jumbo-) moments of pain as mini deaths, each leading to a rebirth into the next best version of ourselves. One cycle after another—each spiraling us up.

Kinda like how Joseph Campbell puts it in The Power of Myth: “There is an important idea in Nietzsche, of Amor fati, the ‘love of your fate,’ which is in fact your life. As he says, if you say no to a single factor in your life, you have unraveled the whole thing. Furthermore, the more challenging or threatening the situation or context to be assimilated and affirmed, the greater the stature of the person who can achieve it. The demon that you can swallow gives you its power, and the greater life’s pain, the greater life’s reply.

Check out the book for more on how to actually operationalize that idea as a concrete Tool you can practice. For now, what’s important to you? You ALL IN? Ready to alchemize the pain? :)

The reason you can’t commit to anything is because it hurts you too much if it fails. Success means putting everything on the line and, if it doesn’t work out, doing it again. And again. No blaming. No excuses.
Barry Michels & Phil Stutz

Seeing problems as gifts

“If you want to increase your Life Force, you have to actually use the tools. This turns the meaning of problems upside down. Rather than seeing them as obstacles, you realize that they are motivators, reminding us to use a tool. In this context, it becomes clear that tools can do more than relieve symptoms: they can give you the ability to see the Higher World.

We call this the ‘higher use of tools.’ Using the tools this way can seem counterintuitive at first. Here’s how the process works:

  • Problems keep coming, requiring you to keep using the tools.
  • The more you use the tools, the stronger your Life Force grows.
  • The Life Force is the source of your sixth sense.
  • As your sixth sense develops, you can perceive the Higher World.

With the above sequence in mind, every problem becomes a gift.”

A central theme of the book is the fact that, when viewed properly, problems in our lives become fuel for our growth.

In fact, for the master, problems become GIFTS because they are the keys to spiraling up into the next-best version of ourselves, unlocking more Life Force and connecting us even more deeply to the Higher World.

Our Obstacles BECOME the way. They fuel the fire.

Vernon Howard comes to mind. He tells us: “If your grand purpose in life is to wake up, then whatever happens to you is good, for it can prod you into self-awakening.” And, “If it takes apparent misfortune to turn us into true philosophers and doers of good to receive good, then apparent misfortune is our greatest fortune.

So… What problems do YOU have in your life?

Let’s alchemize them into gifts—fuel for you actualizing your highest potential!

Your Life Force gets stronger as you conquer each obstacle, and the overall trajectory of your life is one of ascension.
Barry Michels & Phil Stutz

About the authors

Authors

Phil Stutz

Inspiring you to live life in forward motion
Authors

Barry Michels

Inspiring you to live life in forward motion