Victim vs. Creator

The Question that Separates the Two

In our last +1, we talked about David Emerald’s wisdom on the difference between living in The Dreaded Drama Triangle vs. The Empowerment Dynamic.

The biggest lesson we want to take from that is the fact that we can either show up in life as a Victim or as a Creator.

We talked about it before but quick review.

Now, no one is a Creator (or a Victim) all the time but we want to get good at shifting back to a Creator orientation when we find ourselves slipping into (or wallowing in) a Victim orientation.

How do you get good at that? Well, ask our 5-year-old son Emerson how you get good at anything and he’ll tell you, “Practice a lot!” (Hah. 🤓)

How do we practice? Simple. (But not always Easy.) Change the question(s) you’re asking yourself.

When we’re in Victim-mode, we tend to focus on all the things we DON’T want to be happening in our lives. You’ll know you’re smack dab in the middle of Victimville when you’re complaining about your problems (or criticizing or blaming someone else for them).

The shift?

One simple and SUPER powerful question: What do I want?

Feeling sick? OK. Well, you can choose (it’s always a choice!!) to complain about that all day every day (and take no constructive action to solve it!) or you can ask yourself the question, “What do I want?”

Answer: “I want to be healthy and energized.” Fantastic. That’s empowering. And, that great question naturally leads to thoughts and actions that will help you GET what you want.

Feeling upset with your spouse or kids or colleagues? Alright. You’re focused on all the things you DON’T want them to be doing. Insert our magically empowering question: “What do I want?”

There’s no (!) scenario where you’re going to respond to that question with, “I really want to be in an argument right now. Yah. That’d be awesome.”

What you want is a great relationship, mutual understanding and deep connection. Fantastic. Do what you need to do to Create that.

Important Note: That’s what Creators do: They CREATE what they want in life rather than complain about what they don’t want.

Today’s +1: Fill in the blank on whatever is annoying you right now. See that the Victim-You focuses on all the things that are wrong. Flip the switch to being an empowered Creator by asking the simple question: “What do I want?”

All day. Every day.

Know what you want. Then go Create it.

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