#613 Useful Feedback and Trolls

How to Deal with Both

In our last +1, I shared a kind note from a fellow Optimizer and we talked about developing our obstacle immunity one OMMS at a time.

Couple of things I didn’t mention that I think are worth discussing.

First, this line made me smile: ”I also love how he mixes all levels of content intellectually — from Seneca, Emerson, and Epictetus to Harry Potter and the Spartan race training culture…”

I appreciate the fact that Jessica appreciates the diverse content.

But I actually laughed out loud when I first read it. You know why?

Because I received a note not too long ago saying pretty much the EXACT opposite. The guy (I assume it was a guy but I don’t know because he didn’t have the courage to share his name) sent me a note saying that, basically, he thought I was an idiot for sharing wisdom from Harry Potter and that no one cared about half of what I talked about, yada yada yada.

I’m telling you, if I listened to everything people said about me and my work, I’d be so paralyzed by the fear and self-doubt erupting from what Seth Godin calls our “lizard brain” that I would NEVER DO ANYTHING.

Laughing. Seriously.

I would share NOTHING with the world and just curl into a little ball and cry. (Hah.) (Which, frankly, sometimes I feel like doing the day after I share something and wake up with a vulnerability hangover.) (At which point, thankfully, the Optimizing Algorithms kick in and Optimus instructs me to simply work the protocol. 🤠)

So…

When I reflected on the juxtaposition of those two opinions, Seneca came to mind.

2,000 years ago, this wise Stoic philosopher told us (via Letters from a Stoic): “Away with the world’s opinion of you—it’s always unsettled and divided.”

Austin Kleon’s wisdom comes to mind as well. In Show Your Work he tells us how to deal with feedback and how to deal with trolls. Here’s how he puts it: “The first step in evaluating feedback is sizing up who it came from. You want feedback from people who care about you and what you do. Be extra wary of feedback from anybody who falls outside that circle.

A troll is a person who isn’t interested in improving your work, only provoking you with hateful, aggressive, or upsetting talk. You will gain nothing by engaging these people. Don’t feed them, and they’ll usually go away…

Do you have a troll problem? Use the BLOCK button on social media sites. Delete nasty comments. My wife is fond of saying, ‘If someone took a dump in your living room, you wouldn’t let it sit there, would you?’ Nasty comments are the same—they should be scooped up and thrown in the trash.”

For me?

I’m open to strategic feedback from a select group of dear friends who get me and what I’m up to. For the most important dharmic stuff, my inner circle is CRAZY small. Optimus (aka my Higher Self), my wife (Alexandra), and my coach (Phil Stutz). That’s pretty much it.

If they support what I’m doing, I’m good. Everyone else? Love ya and… 🤓

So…

Today’s +1.

Got any mixed opinions out there in the world?

Who can you trust? Who has proven themselves worthy of giving you honest feedback?

Trust thyself. Trust them.

And ignore the trolls.

Love and let’s do this!

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