Today we’re going to shift gears a bit and talk about Love.
Specifically, let’s talk about Love 0.0 + Love 1.0 + Love 2.0 + Love 3.0.
Quick context: My friend Matt McCall (the leading venture capitalist we talked about in our +1 on Success Math), helps run Pritzker Group Venture Capital. He recently invited me to give a talk to 60 of their portfolio CEOs during their annual event.
Being the hermit I am, I had some ambivalence about doing it but Matt ultimately sold me on how cool it would be to give a talk on “Optimizing for Superheroes 101” with a core theme of Areté. (I told him, “You had me at Areté.” 😍 🤓)
I basically saw it as a fun opportunity to share my best stuff and decided to use my preparation for the talk as a catalyst to create a class for our Optimizers. The class name evolved from “Optimizing for Superheroes” into “Optimizing for the Modern Hērō.” I kinda go off in the class. It’s 2 hours and 21 minutes (vs. the normal 60-90 minutes). (After finishing it, our film genius, Ben, said it should be called: “Optimize, All In.” 🤠)
As I was preparing for the class, I was thinking about what I wanted to share in the context of “Love.”
Of course, as we’ve discussed many times, the ancient Greek word “hērōs” itself is all about love. Recap: The word “hero” literally means “protector.” A hero has strength for two. His or her secret weapon? Love.
That’s the central theme of the class (and, of course, all of our work together)—Optimize your life so you have the strength for two and GIVE US ALL YOU’VE GOT, Hērō!!!
So… As I was preparing for the class, I was wrapping my brain around what core ideas I wanted to share around the subset of “Love” in relation to the Big 3 of Energy + Work + Love.
I knew I wanted to talk about the iPhone Effect as that is SUCH a simple, powerful way to boost our presence—which, of course, is the essence of connection and the foundation of love. I also wanted to talk about Barbara Frederickson’s Love 2.0 ideas so we can create micro-moments of positivity resonance (aka Love 2.0!) and extend our sphere of love beyond our limited intimate circle of family and friends (Love 1.0).
I also knew that I wanted to talk about the fact that, if we want to give love to others, we need to START by making sure we’re loving ourselves. I planned to combine Ayn Rand’s wisdom that “To say ‘I love you’ one must know first how to say the ‘I’” with Kristin Neff’s idea of Self-Compassion.
All of which is a long way to say that as I was on my Trail the morning I was filming the class, all of those ideas on Love kinda snapped into place.
I realized we need to Optimize Love 1.0 and Love 2.0. AND… We need to Optimize Love 0.0 and Love 3.0 as well. Here’s the quick take.
Love 0.0: We need to START by loving ourselves. We’re going to have a hard time loving others if we have a hard time loving ourselves. And, we’re certainly not going to reach our potential of Love unless we’ve figured out how to love ourselves. Enter: Even striving to live our optimus best lives (which is a huge, easily-missed act of self-love), our #1 Self-Care habits, Self-Compassion, etc.
That’s Love 0.0. Then we have…
Love 1.0. This is “love” as we typically think about it. How are you loving your spouse / kids / parents / etc.? Well, from my vantage point, the quickest way to show someone you love them is to give them your full attention. And, science says, the best way to do that is to put your smartphones away so… as we discuss all the time… Put your smartphones away when you’re with your loved ones!!
That’s Love 1.0. Then we have…
Love 2.0. Barbara Fredrickson tells us that every interaction with another human being gives us a chance to experience what she calls “micro-moments of positivity resonance.” A simple smile, a warm presence, a kind word and voila! Mundane interaction is alchemized into Love. (I can attest: Life-changing stuff!)
That’s Love 2.0. Then, for the Modern Hērō, we have…
Love 3.0. This is heroic love. We love LIFE. All of it. We feel blessed to be alive and to have the opportunity to open our eyes in the morning, let alone get out of bed and joyfully strive to high five our inner daimon while giving our greatest gifts in greatest service to the world. We love the people we’re blessed to serve, the people with whom we’re blessed to do our work.
That’s Today’s +1.
How are your Love Operating Systems?
Any opportunities to Optimize?