#882 How to Win Friends and Influence People

Rule #1 (STOP Criticizing!)

In our last couple +1s, we had fun taking beams out of our own eyes (rather than worrying about the motes of dust in others’ eyes) while writing prescriptions for ourselves (rather than for our neighbors).

Today I’d like to continue that theme with some wisdom from one of the all-time bestselling books in self-development history: How to Win Friends and Influence People.

As I mentioned in our +1 on How to Stop Worrying, I actually resisted reading this book for a long time. For a number of reasons, the title turned me off. Then I got over myself and loved the book.

So…

Want to “Win Friends and Influence People”?

Or…

Stated a little differently, want to “Optimize Your Connections with People”?

(Me, too!)

Here’s Rule #1.

Don’t criticize people. Period.

Technically, Dale Carnegie tells us that Principle #1 is: “Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.

The first section of his book is called: “Fundamental Techniques in Handling People.”

Chapter 1 is called: “If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive.”

Here’s how he puts it: “Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it. But why not begin with yourself? From a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more profitable than trying to improve others—yes, and a lot less dangerous. ‘Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof,’ said Confucius, ‘when your own doorstep is unclean.’

Want to avoid kicking over the ol’ beehive?

One more time: “Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.

That’s Today’s +1.

See if you can go all day without criticizing, condemning or complaining.

It’s harder than you (may) think.

Good luck with that and here’s to leaving the beehive alone lest we get stung.

🐝 🐝 🐝

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