Barry Michels

Inspiring you to live life in forward motion

Barry Michels has a BA from Harvard, a law degree from University of California, Berkeley, and an MSW from the University of Southern California. He has been in private practice as a psychotherapist since 1986.

PhilosophersNotes on Barry Michels's Books All PhilosophersNotes

Coming Alive

4 Tools to Defeat Your Inner Enemy, Ignite Creative Expression & Unleash Your Soul’s Potential

by Barry Michels, Phil Stutz

I’m a HUGE fan of Phil and Barry's first book, The Tools. Coming Alive is kinda like The Tools Part 2. In this book, we get four new tools to go along with the original five tools. Big Ideas we explore include how to connect to our Life Force, defeat Part X (their name for that part of each of us that gets in the way), build our confidence and learn to see problems as gifts as we live a GREAT life.

Packs:

Confidence & Optimal Living & Self-Image

courage Top 101

The Tools

Transform Your Problems into Courage, Confidence, and Creativity

by Barry Michels, Phil Stutz

The Tools. This was easily the best book I read in 2012. It's *packed* with goodness. Stutz and Michels are two no-nonsense therapists who developed powerful tools to transform our problems into courage, confidence, and creativity. In this Note, we'll take a quick peek at how to put these powerful tools to work to creat real change in our lives.

Packs:

Peak Performance & Self-Image & Willpower

+1s Inspired by Barry Michels All +1s

Your Infinite Potential
#4

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

And Where to Find It

Phil Stutz and Barry Michels wrote a great book called The Tools. There are five Tools in the book and we may chat about others later but I want to focus on the first for now. Phil and Barry tell us that most people like to live within their comfort zones. Why is that? We...

+1 inspired by Note: The Tools

Packs:

Antifragility & Spartan Training

courage dissatisfied Grit mental training omms soul Spirit toughness

Grateful Flow
#25

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

The Antidote to Ick Sauce

In our last +1, we chatted about the scientifically-proven power of gratitude: Simply writing down 5 things you’re grateful for can boost your happiness up to 25%. (Wow.) Here’s another way to practice the magic of gratitude right in the moment when you need it most. The Tool...

+1 inspired by Note: The Tools

Packs:

Conquering Depression & Positive Psychology

Awareness Breathe Gratitude Happiness Heart micro-moment sad science Science of Mind self-awareness Spirit tool

Emotional Stamina
#28

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

What to Do When You’re Having a Rough Day

What do you do when you’re having a rough day? Maybe it starts the moment you wake up and you just don’t feel like doing your normal things? Or maybe it kicks in a little later in the day after a disappointment. Things aren’t going your way. What do you do? Well, here’s ...

+1 inspired by Note: The Tools

Packs:

Antifragility & Habits

Body commitment committed failure Fundamentals Mind omms

Active Love
#32

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

How to Get Out of a Mental Maze When Someone’s Annoying You

Here’s another really powerful tool from The Tools guys, Phil Stutz and Barry Michels. Use this tool whenever you find yourself in one of those not-so-pleasant mental loops about someone who annoyed you. They call that being stuck in “the Maze.” Not a good place to ...

+1 inspired by Note: The Tools

Packs:

Connection & Love

Anger Awareness Breathe Heart Spirit tool

Speed Is a Force
#54

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

The Force Is with You - Use It Wisely

The very first thing Phil Stutz taught me in our very first session together was the fact that Speed Is a Force. He told me that the longer we wait between feeling inspired to do something and actually doing it, the more our confidence and self-respect erodes. Obviously every id...

+1 inspired by Note: The Tools

Packs:

Confidence & Conquering Procrastination

action baby steps courage Mind overwhelmed success tool

Dust
#77

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

A Secret Tool to Master Non-Attachment

Let’s chat about something called “Dust.” It’s a secret tool I recently learned from Phil Stutz. Basic context: Remember Apollo, our patron god of philosophy? He was an archer. Like him, we need to have a clear target at which we’re aiming our life force. We’re ALL I...

+1 inspired by Note: The Tools

Packs:

Peak Performance & Stoicism

all-in commitment focus mental training Mind Power process target tool unproductive

Turning Around Glitches
#97

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

What True Confidence Looks Like and How to Build It

True confidence doesn’t come from thinking everything will always go perfectly. That’s crazy. In fact, as Phil Stutz pointed out in one of our coaching sessions, the need for absolute certainty results in absolute terror. Quite simply: We MUST be willing to t...

+1 inspired by Note: The Tools

Packs:

Antifragility & Confidence

Balance confidence equanimity mental training Mind off Old School Classic Philosophy Practice Resilience self-awareness tool

Reverse Indicators
#106

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

How to Interpret Your Encounters with Dragons

So, let’s say you’ve decided to embark on a heroic quest. It’s time for you to leave the normal, routine life and really go for it—stretching yourself to dare greatly and do what you’re here to do. (GOOD DECISION!!!) Now, every good hero’s journey has some pretty epic dragon-...

+1 inspired by Note: The Tools

Packs:

Antifragility & Confidence

adversity challenges courage Growth Hero heroic Mind omms worthless

Being Exonerated
#109

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Is NEVER Going to Happen (Sorry to Break the News!)

In our last +1, I casually mentioned the fact that our heroic reframing of challenges is something we will work on forever. Yes, I literally meant F O R E V E R. Q: “But, that’s such a very long time. Surely, I’ll get to a point where I’ve figured it all out and will be exonerate...

+1 inspired by Note: The Tools

Packs:

Conquering Perfectionism & Optimal Living

Choice commitment Discipline greatness Inspiration Mind persistence Practice success

Thinking vs. Doing
#180

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Lessons from a Beach Ball

In one of my coaching sessions with Phil Stutz he told me to write something down. (He often does that. 😃) He said, “Draw a horizontal line. Above that line, put ‘Thinking Space.’ Below the line, put ‘Work Space.’” Then he asked me, “You know what the ‘Thinking Spa...

+1 inspired by Note: The Tools

Pack:

Conquering Procrastination

action baby steps Conquering Procrastination Hustle Mind productivity success tool

Death Cookies
#192

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Fuel for the Journey to Your Infinite Potential

Continuing our theme of how to become Antifragile Heroes, let’s look at another way to rock it. A couple +1s ago we talked about “Approach vs. Avoidance.” As we discussed, science says that the healthiest among us APPROACH rather than AVOID their challenges. Here’s another way to...

+1 inspired by Note: The Tools

Packs:

Antifragility & Conquering Anxiety

antifragility courage greatness Growth Mental Toughness soul Spirit tool

Death at the Crossroads
#202

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

How to Create a Calm, Confident, Purpose-Driven, Enthusiastic Life

Here’s another gem from my coach and Honorary Godfather, Phil Stutz. Phil tells us that when we come to a Crossroads—a point in our lives when we need to make a choice between two or more options—we’ve gotta realize that we need to DIE to the other options and go all in on one. T...

+1 inspired by Note: The Tools

Packs:

Antifragility & Confidence

antifragility confidence courage Mental Toughness persistence soul Spirit Strategy tool

Utter Commitment, Psychology Of
#241

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

The Power of Focusing Your Life Force

The other day, Phil Stutz and I were chatting about the power of going ALL IN on ONE thing. We talked about how hard it is to do but how powerful it is once we do it. Phil told me there’s something special about what he called “the psychology of utter commitment.” The Psycholog...

+1 inspired by Note: The Tools

Pack:

Purpose

commitment focus purpose soul Spirit Wisdom

Your Dreamer + Your Doer
#253

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

How to Build Your Confidence: Have Both in Mind Today

In my interview with Barry Michels about the great book he wrote with Phil Stutz called Coming Alive, we talked about a bunch of things. One of the things that jumped out at me was the way Barry described the two parts we each have within ourselves. He called them the “Dreamer” and...

+1 inspired by Note: Coming Alive

Pack:

Confidence

action confidence Eudaimonia Mental Toughness soul Spirit tool Vision

Just a Drop
#301

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Little by Little We Fill Our OptiPot

In one of our coaching sessions, Phil suggested I add “Just a drop” more energy to a certain aspect of my life. Just a drop. Not a tsunami of energy. Not even a little bucket. Just a drop. No big deal. Just a drop more energy and attention. I work...

+1 inspired by Note: Coming Alive

Packs:

Conquering Perfectionism & Optimal Living

baby steps Buddhism compound Mind Philosophy Wisdom

Quantum Optimizing
#317

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Big Things Come Through the Little Things

In Coming Alive Barry Michels and Phil Stutz say that if we want to tap into the Life Force that will empower us to reach our infinite potential, we’ve gotta focus on the small things. The super small things. Here’s how they put it: “Most people focus on the bigge...

+1 inspired by Note: Coming Alive

Packs:

Connection & Optimal Living

action Areté baby steps relationships soul Spirit

Endlessly Evolving Process
#369

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

The Essence of a Good Life

In our last +1, we talked about zero-based thinking and reflected on the powerful question of asking ourselves whether, knowing what we now know, we’d have started doing some of the things we’re doing. To pull that dynamic process off, I think it’s helpful to keep a few things in mind.

+1 inspired by Note: Coming Alive

Packs:

Conquering Perfectionism & Purpose

baby steps big-picture Growth persistence soul Spirit

Antifragile Affirmactions
#428

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

How to Use Micro-Moments of Frustration to Grow

Today we’re going to have some fun mapping out how to use micro-moments of frustration to catalyze the next-best version of you, antifragile style. We’re going to call the whole process “antifragile affirmactions.” We’ll start by identifying some little thing that might current...

+1 inspired by Note: The Tools

Packs:

Antifragility & Fatherhood

action antifragility Character Fatherhood Mental Toughness Mind Parenting

The Principle of Correction
#434

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Think: Needs Work for Mis-takes

In our last +1, we talked about Phil Stutz’s idea on Unilaterality. Recall: To act unilaterally is to take action independent of anyone else doing anything. Apply i...

+1 inspired by Note: Coming Alive

Packs:

Conquering Perfectionism & Self-Image

Compassion equanimity Growth Happiness Mind tool

When Things Go Wrong
#471

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Appreciate How Rarely They Do (Optimizade Style)

I got up this morning even earlier than I usually do—fired up to start hammering some +1s to hit a fun milestone. So… I go through my morning ritual for the x thousandth time—meditation, movement. Done. Supplements in? Yep. Little Tian Chi energy dr...

+1 inspired by Note: The Tools

Packs:

Antifragility & Conquering Anxiety

antifragility conquering-anxiety equanimity Gratitude Mental Toughness Mind technology

Gravity, Dark Energy and YOU
#501

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Plus: Contraction, Expansion, Entropy and Syntropy

The other (Mon)day, my Yoda and I were having our normal 3:00pm session. We were chatting about growing Optimize and some exciting stuff that’s been bubbling up. Then Phil compared our growth opportunities to the inherent dynami...

+1 inspired by Note: Coming Alive

Packs:

Purpose & Self-Image

Actualization big-picture Growth purpose self-image soul Spirit

Collecting Turnarounds
#502

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

At the Speed of the Universe

In our last +1, we talked about my Yoda schooling me on how to apply dark energy to my life by aligning with that Force that’s driving the expansion of the Universe at a mind-exploding velocity. Today we’re going to talk about another facet of that chat—which is really the essence of all ...

+1 inspired by Note: The Tools

Packs:

Antifragility & Confidence

Actualization antifragility confidence equanimity Growth Mental Toughness Mind tool

You and Houdini
#542

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Slipping Out of Psychological Knots

According to Wikipedia, Harry Houdini “was a Hungarian-born American illusionist and stunt performer, noted for his sensational escape acts.” According to my coach Phil Stutz, we want to be like him when we find ourselves stuck in ps...

+1 inspired by Note: The Tools

Packs:

Antifragility & Conquering Perfectionism

antifragility conquering-perfectionism Grit Growth Inspiration Mental Toughness Mind mis-take

Sign In Forgot your password?

No problem!

Barry Michels

Inspiring you to live life in forward motion

PhilosophersNotes on Barry Michels's Books All PhilosophersNotes

Packs:

Packs:

+1s Inspired by Barry Michels All +1s

Your Infinite Potential #4 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

Grateful Flow #25 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

Emotional Stamina #28 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

Active Love #32 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

Speed Is a Force #54 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

Dust #77 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

Turning Around Glitches #97 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

Reverse Indicators #106 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

Being Exonerated #109 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

Thinking vs. Doing #180 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Pack:

Death Cookies #192 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

Death at the Crossroads #202 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

Utter Commitment, Psychology Of #241 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Pack:

Your Dreamer + Your Doer #253 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Pack:

Just a Drop #301 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

Quantum Optimizing #317 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

Endlessly Evolving Process #369 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

Antifragile Affirmactions #428 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

The Principle of Correction #434 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

When Things Go Wrong #471 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

Gravity, Dark Energy and YOU #501 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

Collecting Turnarounds #502 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

You and Houdini #542 Get instant access to all +1's! Join nearly 10,000 members in the 1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge and start optimizing your life today. Join Now

Packs:

Interviews with Barry Michels All Interviews

Get 3 free PhilosophersNotes

This content is for members only!

Your Infinite Potential
#4

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Grateful Flow
#25

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Emotional Stamina
#28

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Active Love
#32

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Speed Is a Force
#54

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Dust
#77

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Turning Around Glitches
#97

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Reverse Indicators
#106

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Being Exonerated
#109

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Thinking vs. Doing
#180

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Death Cookies
#192

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Death at the Crossroads
#202

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Utter Commitment, Psychology Of
#241

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Your Dreamer + Your Doer
#253

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Just a Drop
#301

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Quantum Optimizing
#317

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Endlessly Evolving Process
#369

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Antifragile Affirmactions
#428

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

The Principle of Correction
#434

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

When Things Go Wrong
#471

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Gravity, Dark Energy and YOU
#501

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

Collecting Turnarounds
#502

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now

You and Houdini
#542

Get instant access to all +1's!

Join nearly 10,000 members in the
1,000-Day Epic Optimizing Challenge
and start optimizing your life today.

Join Now